Dear Universe, Thanks for Having Me. Sorry About the Assholes.
I’m so in awe of the Universe. Oh, and if saying that wasn’t cheesy enough, I like to capitalize “Universe” when it isn’t grammatically correct to do so, because I feel like the Universe is my higher power. For real, though, how lucky are we that we get to be alive? It’s as utterly insane as it is normal. And how silly are people who spend their precious time on this magical spinning circle judging and condemning other people?
So often I’ll be driving alone, usually at night, and I’m just so taken aback by whatever all of this is. Life. The universe. The unknown. Pain. Excitement. Fear. Laughter. Happiness. Friendship. Romance. All of it. What the fuck is all this? Why does my heart ache so much sometimes that I feel the pain of it in my bones? How is it possible that human connection and deep love can make us feel so unbelievably good we could scream?
I just feel so grateful that I get to do this. That I get to live and hurt and be happy and ache for things. That I get to love people and places and feel nostalgia that I can’t even describe. Why am I alive at this point in time? Why am I sharing this earth with the people I’m sharing it with? Who the heck knows, really? Then again, maybe someone, or something, does know. But I don’t. And that’s how it’s supposed to be. I don’t need to know the answers to the questions that keep me up at night. I find answers every day in myself and my connections with other people and our sweet, sweet Mother Earth. As scary as the unknown is, it makes me want to take in and hold onto everything, and everyone, that much more. Sure, I meet people I don’t click with, and I have underwhelming first dates with people I don’t care to get to know more. But, these people I get to interact with have popped into my life for a reason. Maybe I should make more of an effort to find the goodies that live inside of people, even if I don’t feel them at first. Or maybe I’m just not meant to click with some people. I don’t know. I want to be someone who makes other people feel comfortable and understood and free to be themselves. I think I usually do a good job at that, but then there are times I walk away from people wishing I had given them more of me, or let them be more of themself. I guess that’s life. I’m just proud to be someone who looks inward and checks in, because it’s not always easy. It’s hard to do the work and ask yourself the tough questions and admit that you need to step up as a human.
It breaks my heart to see so many people who don’t know how to part ways with their ignorance and judgement. I know how hard it is to be a human in general, but I understand the privilege I have simply because I’m a white woman. I did nothing to earn my privilege except for be born, which I had no choice in, and I see how much harder it is for people who don’t get to just walk around with white skin, or with an attraction to the sex they’re supposed to be attracted to, or feeling like they’re in the right body. I don’t know what it’s like to live as a non-white or non-straight person, so the last thing I have the right to do is judge. And I don’t want to judge. I don’t want to be an asshole. That makes life so much less fun for everyone.
Everyone deserves the freedom to be who they are, whatever that means to them, and however it evolves over time. If someone is living kindly and not harming others, they should be able to dress however they want to and love whoever they feel it in their heart to love.
Why do people complicate things so much? There’s too much beauty and room for connection and love, and humans are wasting time and energy on things that don’t actually matter. They’re literally choosing to hate and condemn, and whether that’s because of religion or personal choices, it’s bullshit.
Life feels so much better when you support people; when you sit down and talk to them with the desire to learn and connect, rather than dispute. I look at people who dress differently than me and love in a different way than I do, and I feel love in my heart for them. It sounds so cheesy, but life is so much better that way.
Most of us are so fucking lucky, and it’s insane to me that people choose to use their precious time here on this planet to ruin other people’s precious time.
I genuinely want to connect with people and learn from people, and I sure as hell don’t want to be just like the next person. Sure, I often connect more strongly with people who are similar to me, but I live for differences, big and small. If you’re a good person but have a different religion or sexual preference or career goal than me, I’d love to sit with you and talk and listen and share and laugh and marvel. Because that’s what makes this life so dang incredible. How is that so hard to understand? Oyyyy.
So many people and groups spend so much time trying to get others to be more “normal,” but there’s no such thing as normal. And if everyone was “normal,” we’d never learn anything or get anywhere. We just need to love and act with love. It’s okay to joke and be sarcastic and say things that aren’t “politically correct” (that shit’s great, lemme tell ya), but it’s easier to do all that when there’s an understanding that people aren’t being threatened. My friends and I tell morbid, dirty, non-PC jokes all the time, because we know we’re not racist or misogynistic or anti-LGBTQ. We can make jokes with undertones that are those things, because we as people are not. And I think that’s okay. But I wouldn’t freely say things like that around people I know hold intolerance in their minds. I don’t know exactly where I’m going with this, but I was just feeling insanely grateful driving home from the gym today, and I wanted to sprinkle some good stuff into the Universe—for myself and for you, whoever you are. Life would just be so much easier and freer and more fun if people chose to accept and made more of an effort to learn and connect. Judging is tacky and dangerous, and complaining is tacky and dangerous. I wish more people chose to focus in on gratitude and humility and a genuine desire for connection. Here’s to hoping. Here’s to always hoping, but above that, practicing what we preach.