#filterlysspoetry: "my favorite fear."

and in that moment i had two realizations.

one,

i was falling in love with you.

two,

falling in love for the second or third or fifth time can’t contain the purity of the first time; the blissful ignorance.

i’ve come to know too much.

how bittersweet it is,

how bittersweet it will always be,

to fall for someone any time but the first time.

to know from the beginning that all the things that excite me now,

all the things that make me swoon and giggle,

are all the things that will crush me the hardest should this one day end.

the nicknames

and the face crinkles

and the inside jokes.

the mishaps and victories between the sheets.

all the little things i’m growing to love

in this.

in you.

in us.

how bittersweet it is to know my most favorite memories are the ones i’ll wish i could forget should this one day end.

yet, how brave it is to jump in as though this will never end; to know that if you don’t take the leap, it ends before it even begins. to find someone who makes you want to take the leap, no matter how hard you've hit the ground before on the way down.

how tragic it must be to miss out on love on account of fear.

oh, how i hope i never find out.

i hope i always jump in.

i hope i’m crushed should this one day end.

i hope this never ends.