- Alyssa Piperis
#filterlysspoetry: "the tragic beauty of living."
i can’t help but think to myself,
is this what it is
to be deeply alive—
to live and take in life
in a way that’s simultaneously
fierce and delicate?
to miss people
you never really knew?
to crave connections
with people and bright green places
that set your soul on fire?
to find yourself
face to face with 3am
wondering what all this even is?
to get hit
from time to time
with a sharp longing?
this sense of nostalgia
that you can’t explain?
i sometimes feel nostalgic
for drunken nights
and past versions of myself
and perfect strangers i kissed
and connected with
and never saw again.
it’s easy to get hung up
on the seemingly perfect strangers
and wonder where they are now.
but i don’t think it’s them
i really long for.
i think i long for myself
far more than
those perfect strangers
who were only perfect to me
in the moments they were meant to be.
i long for who i was
in certain carefree moments;
the fact that there were
so many heavy things
i wasn’t forced to face,
if only temporarily.
it’s not regret or disappointment i feel,
but acute awareness.
heartbreaking awareness.
the awareness
that there are versions of me
that can only live in the past.
that this exact moment,
and all the ones that follow,
will come to live in the past.
that you can miss
parts and moments of something
without wanting it back.
things, places, people.
that you can have
exactly what you want,
but know there’s a low
for every high.
that my love for this life
is the most tragically beautiful mix
of fierce and delicate.
i’m in it,
and i already miss it.
because i’m aware.
that all of this is only temporary.
things, places, people.
