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    • Alyssa Piperis
      • Feb 28, 2018
      • 1 min read

    #filterlysspoetry: "the tragic beauty of living."

    i can’t help but think to myself,

    is this what it is

    to be deeply alive—

    to live and take in life

    in a way that’s simultaneously

    fierce and delicate?

    to miss people

    you never really knew?

    to crave connections

    with people and bright green places

    that set your soul on fire?

    to find yourself

    face to face with 3am

    wondering what all this even is?

    to get hit

    from time to time

    with a sharp longing?

    this sense of nostalgia

    that you can’t explain?

    i sometimes feel nostalgic

    for drunken nights

    and past versions of myself

    and perfect strangers i kissed

    and connected with

    and never saw again.

    it’s easy to get hung up

    on the seemingly perfect strangers

    and wonder where they are now.

    but i don’t think it’s them

    i really long for.

    i think i long for myself

    far more than

    those perfect strangers

    who were only perfect to me

    in the moments they were meant to be.

    i long for who i was

    in certain carefree moments;

    the fact that there were

    so many heavy things

    i wasn’t forced to face,

    if only temporarily.

    it’s not regret or disappointment i feel,

    but acute awareness.

    heartbreaking awareness.

    the awareness

    that there are versions of me

    that can only live in the past.

    that this exact moment,

    and all the ones that follow,

    will come to live in the past.

    that you can miss

    parts and moments of something

    without wanting it back.

    things, places, people.

    that you can have

    exactly what you want,

    but know there’s a low

    for every high.

    that my love for this life

    is the most tragically beautiful mix

    of fierce and delicate.

    i’m in it,

    and i already miss it.

    because i’m aware.

    that all of this is only temporary.

    things, places, people.

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