- Alyssa Piperis
#filterlysspoetry: "resist me."
i woke up
with the faint taste
of whiskey
on my breath,
my sheets and blanket
wrapped around me
like the air of excitement
i felt.
you know when you
get into bed at
the end of the night
after making
an unexpected connection
that gives you that
“this could be something” feeling,
and as you wake up
the next morning,
a little groggy,
before your conscious self
has even pieced together
the events from
the night before,
you feel an excitement
that you can’t place?
that’s what i felt.
i slowly
started to remember
your eyes,
how our hands kept
finding their ways
to each other
under the bar top
as we talked to
friends and strangers,
that you looked me
right in my eyes
and told me i’m
“a unicorn.”
“beautiful.”
“trouble.”
“hard to resist.”
“so, don’t,”
i countered,
in a way that was
50 percent dominating
and 50 perfect innocent.
don’t resist.
i wanted to kiss you
in that semi-crowded dive bar
and wake up alone
in my own bed
with the faint taste
of whiskey on my breath
and that “this could be something” feeling.
and then,
not very slowly at all,
i remembered.
“i have a girlfriend.”
“you knew that, right?”
the answer was no.
i was 100 percent innocent
and we were
100 percent not happening.
the math didn’t add up.
“hard to resist”
no longer sounded sexy to me.
i was moving your hands off me
and screaming inside.
RESIST ME.
RESIST ME.
RESIST ME.
i still don’t know
if i was internally screaming
at you
or my very first boyfriend
who probably
called other girls “trouble”
as he aggressively
hit on them
in college bars
when i was
across the country
finishing up high school.
i wonder if other girls
told him to
resist.
but i know
the responsibility
is not on
the other girls.
